Death by Love
by Raven Midnight Memoryz
Summary: When the most terrible thing could ever happens of losing the two people i love most i have to fine a way to get back on my feet... but there is a great secret in store for me that none would ever guess.


be4 everything i love life n all the people in it but after the worst thing that could happen it just got worst. but lucky 4 me i just had 2 be the 1 that all the most terrible thing happen 2 but it was just going 2 get better n better.

it had been many dayz since we both had really talk 2 each other but even if he didn't say anything i know something was alwayz wrong. he would alwayz leave 4 work b4 me and didn't get home til after i went 2 bed or at least went 2 lay down in our room, he even started 2 sleep on the sofa, too. we wasn't married or anything cuz i didn't like the whole idea of getting married n having kid, not a big child fan both of u. i could tell there was so much pain in his eyez when i look in2 them.-sigh-. so many night had passed and i had started 2 cry myself 2 sleep cuz i knew i was causing this pain some how. as i did when we were in high school 2gether i started 2 writ poemz n storyz but hey where sad poemz n storyz not happy as they were the year i met him. i would have done anything 2 laugh n smile with him like we did 2gether b4 we graduated.

i had been laying in bed crying when i heard him come in the front door. ever step he took the floor would creak n a tear would fall from my eyez. several hourz went by as i watched the neon green numberz on the clock. it had been quiet 4 awhile when i dissuaded 2 go out in2 the living room where he laid on the sofa staring at the ceiling when i walk in the floor creaked from under me. i stop when i saw his head turn 2 face me, he rolled over n put his feet on the floor. i walked over 2 his side n sat down next 2 him. he wrap his arm around me n i snuggled in2 his chest. the warmth of his skin, the touch of his finger tip, his painless relaxing voice, i miss all of this n i wasn't going 2 love this anymore. we sat there awhile til he said the most painful thing i remember;

"I'm sorry." she sighed with pain in his voice.

"for what?" i mumbled in2 his chest.

he sigh n thought of his wordz b4 saying anything but i spoke b4 be said anything;

" i know I've been hurting you i can see it in ur eyes. we never do anything together, anymore... i feel forgotten.. ever step you take you step farther away from me." i tried not 2 cry then. he look down at me with a 'what?' look;

"what? babe, your not forgotten, don't be that not hurting me." i know he was lieing, i was hurting him n he know it. after that we both fell asleep after awhile of silentz.

when i woke up that morning at 5 o'clock it took me til the time he got up til the time he left 2 decide what iw as going 2 do. after he left i jumped from the sofa in2 our bedroom. i graved a huge suitcase n piled my clothz in2 it. i knew what i had 2 do. i luv him so much but i was hurting him n i would do anything 2 make him happy again , ever if that was leaving him. when i got all my stuff i climbed sown the stair 2 the apartment parking lot. when i got on2 the highway i started 2 think' ever since high school finish i moved in with him n lived with him since, that would me 2 yearz now. i never got on my own 2 feet n learn the way of the real world i was always by passing it. then the memory of the first day i saw him filled my head.

i never really believed in 'love at first sight' or " a happy ending' 4 that matter but that day i saw him in the hallway with a paper in hand trying 2 find this classes. my heart burned with warmth as i saw him and if i was a cartoon my heart would be popping outta my chest but in this case I'm not a cartoon.- sigh- life was much more simpler then. i did the funnest thing ever, when i found out his locker number i broke in2 his locker n put roses n a note saying;" do u believe in love at first sight" in it. my mum told me that was the way 2 a manz heart cuz that what she did 2 get my dad, n my dad fwendz teased him about it just like my guyz fwendz did. the next morning when he found them it took til that afternoon 2 find out it was me. i remember that day like it was yesterday, he walk up 2 me n all he said was;

"yes". i smiled at him then said;

"wow, record time, i see" i winked at him.

as i drove i started 2 cry n my sight started 2 go fuzzy, when i wiped the tears outta my eyez a huge trunk greeted me with a loud honk. at first i couldn't move then second b4 the truck n i had met i turned missing the truck n getting back on the right side of the road. i gasped as i was surprised that i was still alive.

"note 2 self; don't cry when driving!" i mumbled 2 myself.  
when i got in 2 the once small town of Gunnisen i was surprised how big the town had gotten. i drove down main street then turned on 2 maple ave. then i parked at 183. it was a big house with a 2 door grange n a pool in back. i got out n got my bagz outta the trunk then walk up 2 the door. i didn't even have 2 ring the door bell cuz kitty , my best-est fwend in the world answered the door. she greeted me with a huge smile n a huge hug as she said my name is a excised voice;

"Raven!"

kitty then grave most of my bagz n i stepped inside. she walk me back 2 my room n set my stuff down.

the next couple of week i sat in my room with a million newspaperz n college formz.i was also look at jobz n collegez online. i had wasted my whole life on the 'Romeo n Juliet' bullshit n now i was going 2 get my act 2gether. i never got on my own 2 feet, i was alwayz depending on him 2 make everything better but now i was milez away from him n now i was with kitty, she was the coolest cat on the streetz now these dayz. after 3 weekz i got a job a some cafe called ' the Dot',weird name but it pad well. i still wasn't the happiest person in the damn world but i was getting bet of hiding it.

one afternoon when kitty n i where doing dishes after dinner, as we where in the middle of a bubble fight the phone rang. kitty was closest 2 the phone so she pick up;

"Hello?" she tried not 2 laugh but u could hear it in her voice. her face fell as she relized how it was.

"uh... may i ask howz calling for her?" we started wiped all the bubbles off when i guessed who it was.

"damn it he found me! I'm not going 2 talk 2 him.." i said wishing he hadn't called.

" um.. she is kinda can't come 2 the phone rite now.. can i take a message?" Kitty asked him. after awhile she respond.

"uh.. i think so, why?" she hung up after that.

"what did he say?" i asked her with a panicked voice. at the vary moment my cell phone rang. i took it off from the table when i looked at he called id.

"KITTY?"

"um... yay?" she said in a small voice.

" why the hell is he calling me, now?"

" i don't know... all he asked is if you still had your cell phone." i sighed as i sent the message 2 voice mail.

"I'm not ready 2 talk 2 him,yet." she nodded n it was silent til my call phone started 2 ring again.

i was laying in my bed , in my room, starring at the ceiling when my cell phone finely stopped ringing. my heart had turn sour, it was a big move leaving him n now not talking 2 him. i was finily out of my own trap but was i truly or was i lieing 2 myself, again.

that morning at work i was greeted by Holly, another waitress, n Andrew, the cook. holly was always so nice 2 me, i could tell her everything n she would understand n send me in the right way. Andrew i really never talk 2 he just smiled at me n would tell me if i was doing something wrong, inless Holly hadn't set my straight yet. we where all there b4 opening like we did every day. Holly sat next 2 me at 1 of the tablez ,after we had just got done wiping the table off, n Andrew hadn't shown up yet.

"So, Rave have u got everything set straight with him?" Holly asked.

"no. i haven't talked 2 him, yet"

"oh, well u better talk 2 him soon b4 he move on"

" i know.. I'm working on it"

at that moment Andrew walk in. Holly n i jump from the table n said "hi" 2 him then walk 2 the back. as i started on the dishes, Holly set up the coffee makerz. i was listening 2 my ipod while i washed the dishes.

When we open that morning i walk 2 clock in 4 work when Andrew walk up 2 me;

"uh hey, Raven how would you like 2 be a singer 4 a band?"

"what do u mean?"

" well i have this band n i need a singer 4 it"

"well if it your band wouldn't you be the singer"

"no, I'm the drummer, we got a bass n a head but we need a singer.. so do you want 2 be in the band?"

" well what kinda music is your band"

"we haven't decided yet, but are u in or not"

"it sound damn fun, I'm in"

we had our first rehearse a week after n a month after we go our first gig. kitty n i came 2 the gig 2gether n the whole time i remember she was on the phone will sum1 haft of the time. but hat night the weirdest thing happened. when kitty n i got home we sat down 2 watch some record 'Noah's ARC' showz. i remember this night so clearly that i could tell u every detail. Kitty had came with a tub of popcorn, we had just got done watching a gay sex scene when the show ended n we started talking about the show when outta know where she kissed me... i was confused at first then i started kissing her back. we had be fwendz 4 what seemed like 4 ever but this didn't feel weird 2 me at all tho.. day passed n we didn't talk about it but i felt as if i was falling in love with my best fwend but when we got our second gig, kitty told me she had 2 pick sum1 up n she promised 2 be at the gig 4 me... but she n she fwend never showed. when i got home that night i got a call from the hospital;

"Hello?"

"uh. hi, is this Raven Midnight?"

"Uh, yes this is"

"well , i'm sorry 2 be the person with bad newz but-"

"what happen?" i was think that he had killed himself of something had happened 2 kitty, but it turn out that i was right.

"i'm sorry ma'am but both you fwendz Kitty White n Zac McBlack where found die in a car accident on the way in2 town when they where hit by a green moving truck. I'm sorry ma'am... Ma'am?"

i was shocked, the phone slipped outta my hand n i lead on the wall behind me n slipped down the wall .. i started 2 cry then . i could hear the lady on the phone still as she called 4 me;

"are you still there?"

i pick up the phone as i cried in2 the phone;

"Yay, sorry."

"ma'am, I'm sorry "

i arrived at he hospital 2 she the body but i just couldn't stop from crying... i had wasted my life n now all the people i love were gone ... 4 ever!

several monthz had already passed me by as i at on my sofa staring at the blank T.V. screen. i had lost my way n there was no 1 in the world that could get me back on my feet. i had been like this since the night i left the hospital. i felt he liez n conditionz that i had lived with my whole life n i was facing the fact... my life was lost n i had nothing 2 life 4 now.

when i walked in2 thoz door 2 work, still in morning, it had been 5 monthz since i had came 2 work but i still had the job cuz Holly n Andrew just loved me 2 death, like brother n sister love. i thought back it felt as if everything happen so fast i didn't even get 2 say anything 2 them. it was snowing outside now. i knew the battlez n the shadowz of the world n i can't do a thing 2 help myself. My heart was broken in so many placez so many timez that i had stopped counting. i watch as i took peoplez orderz that Holly n Andrew keep talking about doing something 4 me. i didn't need anything i was already alone in the world n no 1 was going 2 fix it!

Holly walk over 2 me as she held a bag with a cute kitty on it, Andrew slowly followed her. Holly held the bag up so i could take it.

"uh, this is for u. from the both of us. where sorry about ur lost"

"thanx, Holly. Andrew." i said taking the bag n look in side. it was a record contract n a pen.. then a rose.

"no way. we got signed?"

Andrew smiled n nodded.

" but we are waiting 4 u, our head singer"

"well i love the idea, yes"

i took the paper n pen out n placed it on the table, ever1 signaturez where already on but mine. i signed n Andrew took the pager away from me n walk out of the cafe. at he moment it felt as if everything was going 2 end good... but was i wrong!


End file.
